LIVING IN THE PAST HAS IT’S PERKS

I think the majority of people would agree that it’s unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we’re all familiar with the new age philosophy, “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That’s why it’s called the Present”. Living in the past holds us back from being able to embrace the present moment. People hold on to childhood fears, adolescent pain, betrayals, bitterness, anger, etc. Even in terms of fond memories: very often when the present is difficult we are quick to recall “the good old days” when life was theoretically better. In our nostalgia, comparisons to better days gone by conjure up feelings of sadness and loss that easily translate into resentment, unhappiness, bitterness, and hopelessness. In our minds, life will never again reach those standards of excellence.

Recalling mistakes we’ve made in the past is also considered counterproductive as it can lead to remorse, regret, low self-esteem, and self-loathing. On so many levels, living in the past seems to be a bad idea. Or is it? Are there ever any benefits to revisiting a previous time? Actually, yes.
The past has several perks:

Learn from our mistakes: We all know that poor choices can be some of life’s greatest teachers. Recalling times when we made mistakes can reinforce reasons why we are better off not repeating them. Understanding what we did or didn’t do, how it impacted our lives in a negative way, and how we felt during and after the encounter helps us to make smarter and wiser decisions in the future. In this way, the past becomes a point of reference for future decision making.

Moving beyond: By revisiting an unfavorable event from our past, we can often view it from a different perspective as time has passed. Being older and presumably wiser, we are now able to re evaluate the experience and gain deeper insights and understandings of what happened and why, and how it has impacted us since. We also have the ability to change how any situation continues to impact us. What once scarred us can now be healed through a new-found awareness and no longer be a negative force in our lives.

Motivated by prior successes: There are times when we have all enjoyed success on a variety of levels. Other times life has been difficult and times have been lean. A quick trip down memory lane to a prior time when we were at our best can help motivate us out of our current slump and put us back on track for success. Use your past successes to propel you on to newer and greater things. Remember: success breeds success.

Fond memories of comfort and joy: I love looking at old photos. They bring back vivid memories of some of the most fun and memorable times in my life. Doing so provides a moment to relive a joyful time and evokes feelings of fondness and happiness once again. Recalling what brought us the most pleasure is an incentive to recreate those moments or to embark on new adventures that are exciting, loving, and memorable, those that we can later reference once again trigger memories of comfort and joy. In the case of the loss of a loved one, fond memories of that individual can be a powerful tool for healing from the loss. Pain is replaced by warm recollections of the one we loved and helps to keep that love and memory of them alive.

A gauge of progress: Very often it’s difficult to see how far we’ve come in life. We work hard but our progress seems infinitesimal by comparison to others or to what we imagined it should look like. Only when we revisit our starting point are we able to see just how much we’ve accomplished. This simple act can boost our morale, restore our hope, increase our self-esteem and confidence, and motivate us to continue putting forth effort.

So while it’s evident that revisiting the past has several perks, there are a few caveats. Just like an amusement park, it’s fine to visit but you cannot stay there forever. At some point, the park closes and all visitors are asked to leave. Enjoy the past when necessary but don’t reside there indefinitely. Use it as a perk for living in the present and planning for the future. In that way, it will serve you well.

Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

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How To Get Your Life Back!

Brigitte

This week on The Night Shift on Tuesday, 4:00 PM Pacific, 7:00 PM Eastern Brigitte Parvin is going to be my guest. Brigitte is currently working on a book with Hay House entitled How To Get Your Life Back. How would she know about that you may ask? Because Brigitte is a recovering alcoholic and has meaningful experiences that she wants to share to benefit others on their journey. How to Get Your Life Back not only chronicles her and co-author Doreen Virtue’s recovery but also includes stories of other people’s journeys and how the angels assisted them along the way. Brigitte credits angelic intervention as being a huge asset in her recovery.

In 1994 Brigitte created Brigitte’s Serenity Studio in Auburn, California and while helping people look lovely with her hair and make-up tips, she also created an environment that people could visit for spiritual sanctuary and advice. Studio B became the place to be!

Her credentials are numerous and she is an Advanced Angel Therapist Practitioner®, Angel Therapy Medium®, Past Life Reader, Hypnotherapist, Yoga of Recovery Counselor®, Akashic Record Reader, Yoga Teacher, and Reiki Pracititioner. Wow! This is one awesome lady that will have much to share with us! Brigitte also will be doing a few mini readings for some of our listeners as well. Tune in and if you miss the live show don’t fret you can always catch it on iHeart radio in the podcast!

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The Anger Exchange: Give Up These 7 to Gain This Instead

If you’ve read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to one or more of these causes. For the purpose of today’s show, I’ve going to cover seven erroneous belief systems and/or behaviors that fuel our outrage, how we can relinquish them, and what we will gain by doing so.
Give up:
1. Limiting or inaccurate beliefs: It’s not uncommon to make statements such as “It’s impossible” or “I can’t do that.” In doing so, we are putting constraints on life’s possibilities and restricting our chances for success. Beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” erode our self-esteem and lead to a life of depression and failure. Feelings of hopelessness (the very definition of anger) and frustration (a root cause) lead to anger, outrage, and despair.
Gain: A positive outlook allows for unlimited possibilities and fuels desire, hope, and effort. Excitement, determination, and accomplishment replace hopelessness, self-loathing, and anger. Self-confidence rises out of our continued successes.

2. Complaining: By its very nature, the act of finding fault with a situation or person focuses on the negative. Our expectations of how things should be or how another should act have not met our standards. Negative thoughts can only lead to negative feelings such as disgust, disillusionment, and anger. Gratitude is the antidote to criticizing.
Gain: Finding something, anything, to be grateful for enables one to see the goodness and benefits that surround them. In that way, one experiences joyfulness and gratitude rather than disdain.

3. Need to be right: Like kerosene to a flame, the need to be right is a guaranteed accelerant of anger. Rooted in low self-esteem, one needs to prove their level of intelligence, their worthiness, and/or superiority over another in order to feel good about themselves and to maintain a particular image in front of others. When two parties disagree, needing to prove one’s authority over the other will invariably end in a fight. Disagreements do not necessarily equate to issues of right or wrong but may instead indicate a person’s preferences or opinions. Work on strengthening how you feel about yourself and the need to be right will vanish.
Gain: This one simple shift will dramatically improve the quality of your relationships as others begin to feel more comfortable in your presence. Your confidence enables you to be more open-minded and relaxed while enjoying the other person’s company more. The possibility of offending or alienating the other person is dramatically reduced.

4. Control: The need to control is based in fear. It’s normal and healthy to be concerned about how one’s life progresses as we all worry about our own well-being. In any situation, we try to create the outcome that will be best for us (and others if possible).The one who has greater control appears to have greater influence on the outcome. One lacks trust in the natural progression of life or in the capabilities of others. The need to have a predetermined result leads to anxiety and worry, underlying causes of anger.
Gain: Letting go and allowing life to unfold naturally means having faith and trust in one’s ability to adapt to their changing circumstances. Additionally, it illustrates a faith in God that what is meant to enter or exit our lives is always for our higher good. Relinquishing control makes way for a relaxed and peaceful approach to life.

5. Judgment: We are typically harsh in our assessment of others. We form critical opinions that create a hierarchy of value among us. Judgments are formed through the practice of comparisons: we compare others with ourselves or with what we consider to be normal or acceptable. We fail to allow for individual circumstances, personality traits, beliefs, abilities, etc. Judging creates tension in relationships on every level. Negative and unkind thoughts about others lead to resentment, anger, disgust, and so on. Replacing judgment with understanding allows one to be more compassionate and supportive.
Gain: One immediately gains self-respect when they choose to no longer criticize or compare others. Allowing each person to navigate their own life in their own time and way reduces stress and arrogance within the critic as they become more compassionate and kinder beings. One’s reputation for being non-judgmental serves them well in every aspect of their life. Additionally, personal relationships become less confrontational and more enjoyable.

6. Resistance to change: Many people don’t like change because along with change comes the fear of the unknown. It’s not actually the uncertainty that people are afraid of but more specifically how they will be affected by it. When change is forced upon them they seek to maintain the status quo and become angry and resentful at the thought of someone forcing something upon them. Even necessary variations can cause anxiety and fear, underlying causes of anger. Accepting that change is both necessary and beneficial can help alleviate one’s fears. Building self-confidence, the belief in one’s abilities to thrive in any new circumstance, is empowering and freeing.
Gain: The more accepting one is concerning any of life’s conditions the less effort is expended in resistance, anger, bitterness, and fear. One is free to live a relaxed life eager and willing to face every new adventure life has to offer. A spirit of courage and enthusiastic anticipation allows for joyful living.

7. Blame: People are often eager to hold others accountable for any unfavorable events that occur. They blame others for how they feel, the poor choices they’ve made, and the sad condition of their lives. Blame renders one powerless as it transfers authority to another. If someone else is responsible for the condition of my life then that indicates that I have no power or control over myself. That is simply not true. I have intellect, free will, and choice. While I may not be able to fully control what occurs around me, I always have control over how I respond to it, perceive it, use it, and allow it to affect my life. Personal responsibility is where our personal power lies. Blame implies one is powerless (another definition of anger) and that invariable leads to distrust, bitterness, resentment, and self-pity.
Gain: Those who take full ownership for their feelings, choices, and life in general definitely feel stronger and more effective. They understand that they have full authority to change whatever is not working for them. In this way, their determination and perseverance will eventually provide the kind of life they are seeking.

When you give up each of the above mentioned behaviors, you will discover that there is greater ease to living, an improvement in most relationships, a greater sense of gratitude and joy in life, higher levels of self-esteem and confidence, and a new-found respect for one’s self. But the greatest gain in this process is inner peace. This is by far the most precious gift one can acquire in life. For without inner peace, nothing else truly matters.

Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://ow.ly/OADTf
Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK
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